Without My Father: A Year of Mourning and Reflection – Daniel Rose


A devoted son shares an intimate and revealing account of grief and the healing process following the death of his much-loved father, to encourage other men to be more open about their own feelings of loss and depression.

Excerpt from the Prologue

The plane touched down on the tarmac at Ben Gurion Airport. As some of the passengers started to clap (a usual occurrence when landing in Israel), I glanced at my parents who were both smiling. I had gotten divorced in the January of that year and was still adjusting to not being with my two sons every day. My sons had gone away that week with their mother, and when my parents invited me to join them in Israel for a week’s holiday, I jumped at the chance.


Towards the end of my stay I had encouraged Mum and Dad to come to the beach with me for a swim. It did take some persuasion, but there was a lift that we could get down the cliff, avoiding the stairs, so they finally agreed. I helped Mum into the sea and a wave immediately knocked her over. I rushed to help her up and to my delight she was laughing and I guided her to some calmer water (at the request of the lifeguard who was shouting at me).

Dad had also gone for a swim. Just before we left the beach, he walked up to the sea, hands behind his back and gazed thoughtfully out at the horizon for about five minutes. I took a picture of him. To this day I wish I had asked him what he was thinking about.

Four months later my father passed away.

“Daniel writes about the most difficult year of his life with such openness and honesty. He bares his soul. It’s a heart-wrenching read.” – Jan Hechel


Dedicated to the beloved memory of his father, Without My Father is a raw and life-affirming account of life, love, faith and loss, and one that charts the grieving process in not only his subjective story, but one that will provide a support and lesson that will shape you beyond his tale, and encourage grief into a hope, happiness and light that can always be found again, where pain begins to fade and the memories you have collected in time will live on forever.

Daniel feels strongly that men are not encouraged to grieve as openly as they need to, and that they risk becoming secretive and completely isolated from friends and family due to a sense of shame or embarrassment they may attach to their grief. Learning to confide in other people and to talk freely about their extreme sadness should be encouraged, especially for men who may hide their grief from loved ones. Early on, Daniel felt unable to cope with his grief, but his strong Jewish faith provided a solid foundation for recovery; both the community aspect of religion and its tenets gave him a framework for mourning from which he took great comfort; Daniel believes that these principals of love, patience, support, understanding and nurturing apply to everyone, regardless of their faith.

Daniel Rose wasn’t prepared for the psychical and emotional shock of losing his father, Mark, to pancreatic cancer in 2016. He freely admits that it took him over a year to even begin to live again after his father died, but that it was the wisdom and the important life lessons his father had passed down to him that would become a central part of his healing process.

Without My Father is a must-read for those struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one, but equally if you’re not looking for it, the sheer openness that Daniel provides, unfiltered and honest, drawing strength from his faith, and the guidance is father had already given him, will undoubtedly make you view yourself, or somebody you know in a way that will only strengthen your perceptions of life and people, family, friend, or stranger.


“An extremely moving and honest account of how losing a parent can affect you.” – Hayley

About the Author

Daniel Rose grew up in Southgate, North London with his mum and dad, Mark and Ruth.

In the 1990s he lived and worked in Israel for four years; firstly on a kibbutz and subsequently in Tel-Aviv at Planet Hollywood. He also lived in Sydney, Australia.

Since January 2017 Daniel has worked as a driving instructor. He has two sons aged thirteen and nine and lives in Ilford, East London.

Without My Father: A Year of Mourning & Reflection by Daniel Rose (published by Clink Street, May 2nd 2019, RRP £7.99 paperback, £3.99 ebook) is available to buy online from retailers including amazon.co.uk and can be ordered from all good bookstores.