The world’s oldest professions join forces in Cathy Waterhouse’s side-splitting Cockadoodledoo
All Cathy wanted was a farm of her own…
Flailing under the financial strain of keeping her animals, she began a decidedly unconventional side-hustle to make ends meet…
She became an escort.
Hilarity ensues in Cathy Waterhouse’s addicting new memoir Cockadoodledoo. A tell-all about the highs and lows of life as a farmer-turned-sex worker, Cathy divulges her bizarre sexual misadventures over the span of one unforgettable year.
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A country girl at heart, Cathy’s lifelong dream was to have a farm of her own. When the North-Yorkshire slot of land she rented in 2004 became too great of a financial burden, it was clear she would need some other form of income. At 38, in a desperate bid to keep things ticking over (and to finally purchase her coveted Hereford Bull), Cathy made the terrifying decision to turn to sex work.
Placing an ad in her local newspaper under the alias ‘Delilah’, Cathy’s wholesome, country image soon proved itself an appealing niche to potential clients.
Farming by day and escorting by night, Cathy’s story is a memoir of two halves; her difficult transition from adolescence to early adulthood in which she discovered her love of agriculture and, told in diary form, of that one mad year of sex work.
Past the salacious and the comical, Cockadoodledoo is also a memoir of moving personal growth – of overcoming the devastating long-term effects of childhood trauma and – through commendable self-sufficiency and hard-work (albeit with the odd ‘cock’ to boot) – of carving a life that is truly worth living.
The book delves into Cathy’s school years, which heralded the beginnings of a lifelong battle with an eating disorder:
… Food was never far from my mind. As a teenager, whilst out shopping alone for roomy t-shirts at C&A (the clothing equivalent of Lidl), I would lose all interest in the clothes pretty soon and made a swift detour to Budgen (the 80’s equivalent of the Co-Op). My basket was soon spilling over with packs of Mothers Pride sultana pancakes, (god they were good) family size Battenbergs, Scotch eggs and Coca-Cola. Returning to C&A, I would grab any old piece of clothing in order to gain access to a changing room and sit behind the curtain, feasting away like a devious hobgoblin.
Cathy’s escorting days got off to a less-than appealing start…
…February 10th 2005 My profile now states that I do not offer kissing. I mean really?! Kissing? Here’s the thing ok…kissing a stranger is worse, much worse than having them invade your lady parts. Whilst going along with it I managed to endure kissing by imitating, very poorly no doubt, the scene in Shrek 1, where Lord Fahrquart cranes his head up to princess Fiona, braying ‘kiss mi’.
Review copies of Cockadoodledoo and interviews with the author are now available.
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Amazon review for Cockadoodledoo
‘Candid tales from frank female farmer!
Farmer, sex worker – hilarious down-to-Earth detail on both of these old professions! Really enjoyed some laugh-out-loud detail from experienced country girl Cathy. Eye-opening reminiscences, definitely not for the squeamish!’
About the Book
Price: £14.99 (Paperback), £4.99 (eBook)
Copies of Cockadoodledoo are available for purchase on Amazon.
About the Author
Cockadoodledoo has been in the works for several years. After a series of increasingly belittling exchanges with literary agents who (on learning of the author’s age and dress size) deemed the book ‘unmarketable’, Cathy made the decision to bypass traditional publishing altogether and self-publish her memoir on her own terms.
Having realized her dream, Cathy now lives on a farm of her own located in an idyllic, remote area just off the Northern coast of Cornwall. Her small stone cottage is shared with her pack of five border collies; Meg, Sky, Floss, Lad and Jill.
Living mostly off the land, she makes small but regular profits from the sale of eggs, milk and other goods made with a combination of the two.
Cathy Waterhouse is a pseudonym.