Peaceful Breeze – Mark Carrington
“Caring for someone you love who has a terminal illness is one of the greatest honours you can have in life. It is a truly life transforming experience.” – Mark Carrington
This book is a personal, frank and honest account of when Mark started caring for his mother, who in 2014, was diagnosed with bowel cancer which subsequently became terminal.
As a son, carer and advocate, Mark was particularly struck by the complete absence of practical guidance to help him. He did not know from one day to the next what was going to happen, and more importantly, what lay ahead.
The book takes us on a very personal journey. Starting from initial diagnosis, to when Mark’s mother eventually succumbed to the disease. Finally, Mark’s own experience of grieving is honestly and openly described.
Throughout the book we see how Mark wrestled with his emotions, ranging from complete despair to experiencing moments of pure joy that will live with him forever. The book pulls no punches, nor does it sugar coat events. Parts of the book are deeply intense.
But even in the darkest moments, Mark found hope staring him in the face. It was hope that enabled him not only to keep on going each day, but to cherish life like never before.
Mark believes that dying with peace, grace and dignity is a human right for all. He prays that by sharing his own experience he help other carers.
“I hope this book serves as more than just a grief memoir, and instead encourages a wider debate about our society’s view of caring for our loved ones when they are nearing the end of their life.” – Mark Carrington
What a Lovely memoir . I read with empathy ,your moving Story ,mark and can relate to so many things except I was the one struck down by stage 4 colon cancer . I somehow managed to survive 5 years later and I am now caring for my mother too , but I am a woman . So impressed at the loving care you gave your mother , as a man . My mother is also has carers 3 times a day . I am always at hand to make sure she gets the best care possible , analysing every blood result and symptom to keep her going . Strong of mind but frail of body , we carry on together , I feel her Every pain and try to ease it constantly for her .We just celebrated her 93rd birthday on St Patrick's day. I feel blessed to still have her and it's not a chore to spend time with her , cooking for her and I can relate to everything , coming from an Irish background , it was never any other option than to look after her myself , as an only child too- it's a lot of pressure sometimes , but worth it . I just hope when the time eventually comes , it is as peaceful as you describe. You did your absolute best and I salute you . Helena
Having just read your article in the Mail it was like reliving my own experience of looking after my mum ,after a long struggle trying to get mum to go to the doctors as she was adamant that there was nothing wrong with her I contacted the doctors to make an appointment to be told that she had been removed from the surgery as had not visited the doctors for 49 Years , was even though my dad was a regular visitor for check ups .Afterseeing the doctor we was told it she was very ill and it was only palliative care ,we was sent straight from the doctors for blood test ,then to hospital where she was admitted for a blood transfusion All the time mum insisted that she was fine even though just looking at her with the weight loss suffered you could see she was ill ,it was hard work getting diagnosis because mum was not very co operative because she was so scared and so were sent to various consultants from the lung , stomach and eventually mum was diagnosed with uterine cancer and passed away 3 months from diagnosis and then 1 year later my dad was unwell and in then December I diagnosed with lung cancer and passed away in the May . I cried when I read your story as it brought it all back to me ,the realisation that my parents were not going to be around much longer ,the scariest times but I ,like you did my best to take care of them as they had done for me God bless x
I have just read the article published in today's Daily Mail. I lost my own beloved Mum in April of 2015. What comes across to me is not the gender issue, but the love of a child for his mother. I totally understand that bond. Mark's words - especially his recollection of crying at the realisation that his lovely Mum was dying - touched me so very much and resonated with my own experience of losing the one person in the world I could always rely on to love me no matter what. God bless you, Mark.