August 28, 2019
Commute to work? Probably.
Love the daily slog of train delays, overcrowding and sweaty armpits? Unlikely.
‘Commuting: An Underground World’ is a laugh out loud account of travelling on the London Underground, in what can usually feel like a never-ending feat of unnecessary changes, delays, pauses, superhuman speed and ninja reflexes.
Stephen Down takes us on a fun – though sometimes stressful – journey, as he shares tales of his daily commute through London.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines the term ‘Commute’ as:
“To travel some distance between one’s home and place of work on a regular basis.”
An alternative definition of the term ‘Commute’ is:
“To travel miserably with millions of other people, some distance between one’s home and place of work on a regular basis. All in disruptive conditions, enduring too much close contact with other terribly annoying human beings, for a considerable amount of money.”
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COMMUTING: AN UNDERGROUND WORLD
This book delivers a brutally honest interpretation of what being a London commuter truly entails, from the race for a standing space the size of a bathroom tile, to number two. Yes! That's A number two - it really happened!
“The author’s observations are written in a hilarious, witty way and there were countless anecdotes which made me laugh out loud (something that’s frowned upon on the tube!).” - JD
An observational masterpiece of countless anecdotes and material that will have you laughing so hard that your fellow commuters are already judging you for the noise.
“As a commuting veteran, I wanted to share a frank account of what happens on one of the largest and most complex tube networks in the world and put into words something which both seasoned commuters and London newbies alike can relate to. Why you may ask? To make you all laugh silly!” – Stephen Down
As a pre-requisite for reading this book: You must only read it whilst commuting. We want an authentic experience!
“Highlights the bizarre traits of British commuters today… The writing is honest, subtle and politely British with a dry current of sarcasm that runs throughout. Stunning accompanying illustrations too.” – Client d’Amazon
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Excerpt from Stop Two – Travelling with Little People
Smelly Oysters
The morning bus journey provided some great entertainment in the form of one little kid. I’d say he was around the age of six. I honestly love kids, they can provide you with some top-notch comedy moments, mainly due to naivety or honesty.
Karl: Mum, can I ask you a question?
Mum: Yes, I suppose so.
Karl: Why does it smell bad?
Mum: Because you just farted.
Karl: Oh, yeah.
Karl: Mum?
Mum: Yes.
Karl: Why do farts smell?
Mum: ‘Cause you don’t eat enough greens.
(Clever mum.)
Karl: Really? But I don’t like greens. Hmm, I’m happy having smelly farts if it means I no longer have to eat greens.
Mum: You might be, but the rest of the people on this bus probably aren’t.
PAUSE
Karl: Mum?
Mum: Yes.
Karl: What’s that smell?
Mum: You again.
PAUSE
Karl: Okay, I’ll eat more greens.
There’s an important life lesson for all the youngsters out there. We’re rooting for you.
About the Author
“Hi! My name is Stephen Down, and I started commuting on the London Underground back in 2010.”
Stephen thinks himself ‘not much of a writer’ (we disagree), and like some of the best books in existence, Stephen uses his first-hand experiences to write material that you will stay with you long after you finish reading it. For his debut book, he notes on the sheer amount of entertainment from travelling around London (Londoners am I right?)
Take a look at Stephen’s Instagram if you’re interested in all the wonderfully bizarre and delightful affairs of a very relatable life on the underground.
“BEST thing is when it ends” – Mum
“Worst READ OF MY LIFE” – Wife
“OUTSTANDINGLY terrible” – Sister
“I’d read anything that mentions TRAINS” – Dad
Families huh?